I haven’t been able to get this thought out of my head since last week. I have been thinking about what’s next for this blog, what’s next for my family, what’s next for our church and what’s next for the 16 people who made a life changing decision to take a chance on Christ this past Sunday. Wow! So while I have spent a lot of time rejoicing (and yesterday completely decompressing), my heart is full of these questions.
It isn’t always easy to figure out what’s next in life. When I reach crossroads like these, I always think about Proverbs 16. It says that the mind of a man plans his ways, but the Lord directs His steps. And later in the chapter it says if I give attention to the word I will find good and that understanding is a fountain of life to the one who has it. I find this chapter comforting. I do the best I can to be obedient with what I have in my hands and trust that ultimately He is directing the course, opening and closing doors and sending me along the right path even when I don’t understand.
For the blog, I don’t know what is next. I did what I set out to do these last 40 days. For now, I will do my best to be here everyday. I will continue to write – for the life it gives to me. I will continue to write – for those of you who send the messages and help me to realize that what I do has value. I will continue to write – for my children who will have a history of their life and mine. I will write because I know I have to do it, and I will not stop until that knowing is gone.
For my family, I look forward to the long days of summer and no school. I want to soak up every fleeting moment as long as I can. I want to work hard and play hard. I want to build loft beds and re-decorate rooms. I want to jump on the trampoline and swim in the make-shift pool. I want to love them hard. I want to give them freedom and send them away to have fun with grandparents and friends. I want to sneak off with my husband and pretend we are young lovers again. I want to whisper secrets and dream crazy dreams and see what happens as we learn each other all over again.
For my church, I will work hard and dream big. I will take comfort in the community of believers and safety I have found. I will work hard and play hard. I will reach out. I will lead a small group for girls in hopes that they too will feel safe and take comfort in the community they have found. I will watch families worship together, grow together, break bread together and play at the park. I will watch as friends serve our brothers and sisters in Jamaica. I will pray hard and sometimes long and do the best I can to be a friend, a confidant, a burden barer for those whose load seems to much. I will give – my only expectation to see more hurt people find their way to a healing savior.
For the 16 people who made a life change, I will hope. I bear a holy weight to see them connect – to find comfort and safety in the community of believers that I have found. I long for nothing more than to see them find others with whom they can live life, find joy and find peace when life send its heavy blows (and it will). I want to help them know Jesus. I want to introduce them to the magic and mystery of His words and His ways. I want them to never grow bored of discovering what life can be, even when it is hard. Above all, I want them to have hope – for life, for family, for Jesus.
This is what’s next.
Lent is over. Easter has come and gone. What’s next for you?
Help me to see clearly the next steps in my journey.
I want to know you more each day.
Use me to help others draw closer to you.
Lord, you have the right answers.
Through your love and faithfulness you wash away my sin.
You establish my steps.
Teach me self-control.
May my words be gracious – full of life and healing.
Let my life be good medicine to those I know.